Battered and Bruised
by renruta
Summary: Aaron and Emily face one of the hardest things life could throw at them. Are they strong enough to pull through it together, or will it tear them apart? Pre-established relationship.
1. Battered and Bruised

**A/N - So this story popped into my head about ten minutes ago, so I just wrote it! It's H/P pre-established relationship. Mild spoilers for season five, so if you haven't seen that be warned! Anything written in italics are flashbacks, not necessarily in the order that the event happened. Anything in non-italics is the present day and happens in order. Anything present day happens during the one day. Planned to be just a one-shot, but if people want to see more of this story I've a few things I could write! Read and review! Criticism is welcomed too!**

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><p><em>Cold. Limp. Lifeless. <em>

"Don't touch me," Emily snapped and flinched away from him. "Please, don't touch me."

"Em, sweetie," Hotch said as he held back his tears. "You've got to eat."

"I'm not hungry." Emily shook her head.

"Em..."

"No," She yelled at him, pushing him away from her. "Please just leave me alone." She cried as tears streamed down her face. She hated looking at him. Hated it. It made her heart feel like it was being ripped out all over again.

* * *

><p>"<em>Look at her perfect little dimples," Emily cooed over her one week old child. "She looks just like you, you know."<em>

"_Mmmm. No, she looks like you," Hotch chuckled in response. "Look at those eyes. Those are all you."_

"_My eyes," Emily nodded. "Your everything else. She looks a little like Jack I think." _

"_A little," Hotch agreed. "She's so beautiful."_

* * *

><p>"Please, just a few bites," Hotch begged her. "You haven't eaten in two days. You need your strength."<p>

"For what?" Emily asked him angrily. "What do I possibly need strength for? Get out of my sight."

"I'll leave some of whatever I make in the fridge for you," Hotch said quietly. "You should take a little nap or something. You look tired." He said as he slowly backed out of the room. He closed the door behind him before leaning back against it. His tears were burning in his eyes, waiting to fall but being forbidden. Why did Emily have to keep going into that room? The pink walls, wooden baby furniture, teddies and toys everywhere. That room broke his heart because their daughter would never call it her own.

"Dad, can I've something to eat?" Jack said quietly from the top of the stairs. "I'm hungry."

"Sure thing buddy," Hotch said a little hoarsely. "How do scrambled eggs sound?"

"Sounds nice, Dad," Jack said as he led his father down the stairs. "Is Mom coming down for some today?"

"No, she's not too hungry," Hotch said as he turned on the stove. "How was school today?"

"Fine," Jack shrugged his shoulders. "We learned our six times tables. Oh, and we painted our cans."

"Wow, that's great buddy," Hotch smiled at Jack. A forced smile. He couldn't bring himself to smile a genuine smile these days. He could remember the last time he smiled sincerely though.

* * *

><p>"<em>I love this baby-grow on her," Hotch grinned at his little girl who was donning her 'My Daddy Loves Me' night-time wear that Dave had bought for her. "The statement could not be more true."<em>

"_It's nearly too small for her," Emily said as she rocked the little girl back and forth. "She's almost six months old so she's just growing out of the 5-6 month wear."_

"_Little girl got her Daddy's tall gene," Hotch smiled as he took the happy baby from her mother. "She's still a little sniffley."_

"_It's just a cold. The doctor said she's just fine," Emily smiled as she rubbed the little girl's cheek. "She's such a cutie when she smiles."_

"_She's got her Daddy's dimples," Hotch smiled widely as he slowly and gently rested her in her crib. "Night Princess, I love you." He whispered softly before kissing her forehead, taking just a moment to enjoy that baby smell he loves so much. "I'm so tired." He groaned quietly as he stretched out. "Think we could leave sex for the night?"_

"_Only if you promise it's just tonight?" Emily winked at him as she crawled under the covers. "I'd hate to think that having a baby has made me undesirable to you." She teased him. _

"_I promise it's just tonight!" Hotch chuckled softly as he followed her into the bed once he had undressed. "Just tired after work. Long day. You will never be undesirable to me. I love you."_

"_I love you too," Emily smiled into the almost darkness as she cuddled against his chest._

* * *

><p>"Is Mom still sad?" Jack asked sadly, then digging into his food.<p>

"She is," Hotch said as he slowly ate his own. Food was something he recently felt like he could give up for good. He had no appetite, no desire to eat.

"When's she not going to be sad?"

"I don't know, buddy," Hotch said quietly. "I think she might be sad for a very long time."

"Is it because Abi died," Jack asked him, his eyes brimming with tears at mention of his little baby sister.

"It is," Hotch said in a whisper. "Mommy is still very upset. She misses Abi very much." He said as tears slid silently down his cheeks.

"I miss her too Dad," Jack said as he began to sob. "Why did she have to go to heaven?"

"I don't know," Hotch said as he stood up and moved over to Jack. "Sometimes... Sometimes bad things happen, and people just die. Abi was such a little angel that I think God wanted her back. He didn't think heaven was nice enough without her." He said as he picked up his son and hugged him tightly. "But Mommy Haley is taking good care of her for us."

"Can you and Mommy make a new baby?" Jack asked into Hotch's shoulder. "I wanna be a big brother again."

"You're still a big brother, buddy," Hotch said softly as his tears began to stop falling. He couldn't be the one to break. He needed to be strong for his son, and for Emily. "Just because Abi isn't here with us anymore, doesn't mean you're not still her big brother."

"But I wanna be a big brother to a baby who is here," Jack frowned as his father put him back onto his seat.

"I know you do, buddy," Hotch sighed as he sat down too. "I just don't think that we're going to have another baby." He said in as gentle a tone he could muster. Upsetting Jack further is not on his schedule for the day.

"Ever again?" Jack asked shocked.

"I don't know what to tell you, Jack," Hotch said honestly. "When you become a Dad one day, you'll understand how much love you have for your child. When your baby dies, it's very, very upsetting. I don't know if Mommy and I will want to have another baby."

* * *

><p>"<em>You left work very quickly today," Hotch smirked as he walked into his living room. Emily had all but ran from the office the moment five o clock hit. Usually she'd hang back a little later, until about six, but not today. What was even odder is that she didn't come up to say goodnight to him. Despite their relationship still being a secret, she always came up to say goodnight. <em>

"_I know. I had to go somewhere," Emily replied as she looked up from her laptop. _

"_Want to tell me where?" Hotch asked, pulling at his tie and dropping it over the side of the couch. "I figure if you are angry at me for any reason, you wouldn't have come over."_

"_Of course I'm not mad at you," Emily smiled. "Just figured I'd use that key you gave me last week." She winked at him. "I left early because I wanted to pick you up a present."_

"_Oh yeah?" Hotch replied, sitting down next to her, placing a quick kiss to her cheek. "What kind of present? Am I allowed unwrap it now?"_

"_A good kind of present," Emily chuckled as she turned on the couch to face him. "But you can't have it now."_

"_Oh, I like the sound of this," Hotch smiled devilishly. "Are we talking about the kind of present that I might like to unwrap in the bedroom, when Jack is peacefully sleeping?"_

"_Nuh-uh," Emily shook her head. "If you're good, I'll let you unwrap it in say... About seven months. Might even let you name it."_

_Hotch froze, his heart beating madly. "Are you...?" He trailed off, searching her face for some kind of tell tale sign. "Em, are you pregnant?" He asked her slowly. _

"_Just under twelve weeks, apparently," Emily said a little nervously, uneasily waiting for his response._

"_We're having a baby?" Hotch asked in shock, a wide smile spreading across his face. "Really?"_

"_Really, really," Emily grinned and nodded as Hotch lunged at her, hugging her tightly. "You happy?"_

"_God, I've never been so happy in my entire life!" Hotch chuckled before kissing her passionately._

* * *

><p>"I can't live here anymore," Emily said to Hotch as she sat on the corner of their bed. "We need to move."<p>

"We can't afford to," Hotch replied as he leaned against their bedroom door. "With the economy the way it is, nobody is buying. If we did get someone to buy, we'd be taking a major loss."

"I don't care," Emily replied calmly, quietly. "I don't care about the money, Aaron. I can't live here anymore. I can't sleep in this room. I can't keep sleeping in the room where our baby... Our baby died. I can't." She said as tears began to roll down her cheeks.

"I'll call the realtor first thing tomorrow," Hotch decided quietly as he moved over to the bed and sat down beside her. "Put the house up. We can start looking for a new place straight away."

"I want a divorce," Emily said weakly. "We only got married because we were having a baby together. Now without her..." She trailed off.

* * *

><p>"<em>Marry me!" Hotch said as he got off the couch and down onto one knee. <em>

"_What?" Emily asked laughing. _

"_Marry me," Hotch repeated, a glint in his eyes. "I love you. More than anything. If we're having a baby together... I want us to be a proper family. I want to call you my wife. Mrs. Hotchner. Let's buy a house together, and get married. Make our family real for our little boy or girl."_

"_Yes..." Emily said simply, after a few moments. _

"_What?"_

"_Yes, yes I'll marry you!" Emily laughed as Hotch sprang back to his feet and pulled her into a tight hug._

* * *

><p>"Em..." Hotch said as he felt tears burning his eyes again. "You know we didn't just get married because we were having a baby. We love each other. Please... Don't tell me you want a divorce. I know things are really hard right now, but... One day it'll be better, and... We're meant to be together. I know it sounds like a bad cliché, but we complete each other."<p>

"Every time I look at you I see her," Emily said as she leaned forward and rested her forehead against her hands. "Your dimples and dark hair. Your lips, and nose. I can't look at you without seeing her."

"I know it's hard," Hotch said sincerely, emotion making him choke on his own words. "I know that it hurts more than any physical pain you could imagine. I'm feeling it too. I lost my baby girl too, Em. I can't lose you as well. You're the love of my life, and if I lose you too... I don't think I'll survive that. I'm barely scraping by as it is."

"It just... Hurts so much," Emily cried as she sat back up and turned to face him. "I miss her so much, Aaron." She said as she hugged against him and buried her face against his neck.

"I miss her too," Hotch said as tears streamed down his face. This was the first time they had spoken about what happened just one month ago. This was the first time that Emily had actually let him in, told him exactly how she was feeling. Yeah, he could read her emotions and behaviour on the situation, but she was finally letting him in again. "So much."

"I want her back," Emily sobbed against him. "It isn't fair. She was fine. She was perfectly fine and then she just died."

"I wish I could bring her back for you," Hotch said as he clung to Emily. "I wish more than anything I could bring her back and let you hold her again."

"It's my fault," Emily stated as she pulled back from Hotch. "I... I must have done something wrong... I didn't wake up during the night to feed her... I... I should have woken up."

"Em, she didn't cry out," Hotch said seriously as he grabbed her hands and pulled her back closer to him before she completely pulled away. "She didn't cry out." He repeated. "That's not your fault. You did nothing wrong. You heard the doctor, she died of SIDS, there's never any warning, and there's nothing you can do to stop it. It was just horrible misfortune. I didn't wake up either."

"She died on her own though," Emily said as more tears began to fall. "Nobody... Nobody was holding her... Or with her." She said weakly.

"She died the most loved little girl in the world," Hotch said firmly. "She died peacefully, and happily, in her sleep. We were here with her, just a few feet away. She knew how much we loved and adored her. You need to trust me when I say that."

* * *

><p>"<em>Babe, turn it off," Emily groaned as Hotch's alarm began shrilling. "Before it wakes Abi up."<em>

"_Sorry!" Hotch apologised with a light chuckle as he turned off his alarm. "Sounds like we didn't wake her."_

"_We?" Emily teased. "It's your alarm sweetie."_

"_Yeah, yeah," Hotch replied as he kissed her on the lips. "You should have woken me last night, I would have taken some of the changes and feedings."_

"_What?" Emily asked, suddenly wide awake. "You didn't get up with her?" She asked as she bolted up into a seat position and looked over to the crib, silence filling the room. "I didn't get up with her." She said as she quickly pushed the covers off her and went over to the crib to check on Abi, Hotch right behind her._

"_Abigail?" Hotch said in no more than a whisper as he picked up his daughter. "Call 911." He instructed Emily immediately as he realised his little girl, his beautiful little girl was cold and blue._

* * *

><p>"I'm tired," Emily said after a long period of silence. Exhaustion was setting in after her little emotional break just there.<p>

"Maybe... You could sleep in here with me tonight?" Hotch suggested quietly. "We haven't shared a bed since..." He trailed off, not needing to finish the sentence.

"I can't sleep in here," Emily shook her head. "You know I can't. You could try and squeeze onto the couch with me though, if you'd like?" Deep down, Emily knew Hotch is right. Despite all the pain and hurt they had encountered over the past month or so, their love for each other still remained. It was now a little damaged, a little battered and a little bruised, but it was still there.

"It'll be a tight fit." Hotch said smiling weakly as he stood from the bed and held out a hand to her. He worried for a moment that she had changed her mind as he saw uncertainty cross her face. But she took his hand, her small and soft hand fitting perfectly in his large one, and he led her downstairs with hope in his heart that come morning things would be a little better.


	2. Disneyland and Smiley Pancakes

**A/N – Thank you so much to everyone who read and reviewed. It really meant so much hearing your kind words on the story – despite it being pretty sad! I've now marked this story as in progress as I'm going to continue it! I'm not sure how frequently updates will be as I haven't thought too much into the future for this fic, and as always college is kicking my ass! But I'll give it my best to update frequently!**

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><p>"Mom?" Jack said in a surprised, sleep scratched tone. "What are you doing up?"<p>

"I'm making breakfast," Emily replied as she held up the plate of pancakes for Jack to see. "Sit. They'll be ready in a minute."

"How come Dad isn't making breakfast?" Jack asked her confused. For the past month, since the death of his little sister, his Dad always got him up in the mornings. His Mom was always sleeping. Well, his Mom would always be pretending to sleep. Jack would often sneak into the living room just to see her, just to make sure that she's okay and nothing bad had happened to her whilst he was sleeping. His biggest fear is that one day he would wake up and he would have lost a second mother. When his first Mom - his mother Haley - had died, he had been sleeping. Daddy had asked him to go work the case for him, so he had run upstairs and got straight to work on it. But he had fallen asleep. He had been tired from all the driving he and his mother had done that day, and once he was in the dark his eyes had shut. When they had reopened, his mother was dead. And then his little sister... His Abigail had died when he was sleeping too.

"He's sleeping," Emily replied sweetly, just about remembering that she was talking to Jack, and snapping answers to his questions wouldn't be nice. After all... Her eyes began to burn... He had just lost his little sister. The little sister he had bragged about in class to his friends, and had drawn pictures of during arts and crafts. The little sister he cherished since hearing of her existence. "I thought it would be nice to make him some breakfast for a change. He always does the hard work." She said, keeping the guilt from her tone. Last night's short talk between her and Hotch had made her realise that she isn't the only person suffering from the loss of Abigail. She had, in her grief, forgotten that Hotch had lost his daughter. The little girl he had framed photos of on his office desk. The little girl who he had boasted about to anybody who would listen once he had discovered her gender at their 18 week scan. The little girl he had wept over, unashamedly, moments after her birth. She had forgotten that he is breaking up over this too.

"Dad likes it when we draw smiling faces on 'em with Maple Syrup." Jack grinned toothily.

"We talkin' about smiley faced pancakes?" Hotch asked lightly as he walked into the kitchen from the living room. God, his back hurt. Sleeping on that small, uncomfortable couch had been a bad idea. Emily hardly fit on it alone, let alone with his six foot two, broad frame beside her. Yet, he had spent the night with Emily, and he would happily suffer the back-pain that fact brought.

"They'll be ready in two," Emily smiled weakly at him. On a normal day, any day prior to one month ago, she would have taken a moment to enjoy his appearance. His messy hair that stood out at all angles, his still drooped and sleepy eyes, and his exposed upper torso. But not today, and not yesterday, and if Emily was being true to her emotions, she wondered if there would ever come a day when she would want to stop and take a moment to appreciate him. Because there are so many aspects to appreciate.

She dished out the pancakes, giving just one to herself in order to avoid Jack and Hotch's questions, and the room fell into silence as they ate. This time one month ago, her and Hotch would be lightly bickering about who would attempt to give Abi her bottle while multitask-eating them self. Usually Hotch would win, as he has always been the better multitasker, and Emily knew that she'd have the whole day with Abi, whereas he would be at work.

* * *

><p>"<em>No, no, no, no!" Hotch said in out of character panic as he pushed back his seat and stood up. Dammit, he did not need this this morning. "Abigail!"<em>

"_Shoot," Emily frowned as she spotted the milk gliding down Hotch's tie and suit jacket. "I'll get a wash cloth." She said jumping up and moving over to the presses. "Keep feeding her, I'll get it." She said as she began to carefully wipe at the milk, hoping it wouldn't stain. Part of her wanted to laugh and say I Told You So. She had warned him only minutes ago that he shouldn't feed Abi while he's in his suit, but had he listened? No. He had just huffed in response that he is a man, and a man could do all. _

"_I'm going to be the only person at this financial review smelling like sour milk." Hotch groaned quietly as he glanced a look to his tie. "Abigail Hotchner, you are breaking your Daddy's heart already." He said with a small smile as his eyes met with hers. The stench of milk he'd happily put up with if it meant spending the first few moments of his morning with his beautiful little girl. He'd been back in work two weeks after taking Parental Leave for the first month following Abi's birth. He loathed going in now because he missed the time spent with his daughter. Watching her sleep peacefully, feeding her a bottle of milk, even changing her dirty diapers had been something he enjoyed. Budgets, serial killers, and Reid's endless chattering was something he did not enjoy. Although, once Abi turns a year old he and Emily will be reassessing their work/home situation. He secretly hoped that Emily would want to return to the BAU, giving him the sly opportunity to volunteer leaving. That way he gets to stay home with his children, and it makes it look like he's being a supportive husband. And every married guy knows how supportive husbands are rewarded. If he kept thinking down those lines, he'd need to go up and take another shower. A cold one._

"_Oh come on, Aaron," Emily said in an almost sing-song tone. "Did you really think that your daughter, with my rebellious genes I'll add, would really wait fifteen or sixteen years to start breaking your heart?" _

"_I had hoped..." Hotch chuckled, aiming a quick wink at his wife._

* * *

><p>"I'm going to make that call once I'm at work," Hotch said breaking the silence in the kitchen. "Is there anything you want me to say we're looking for specifically?" He asked Emily.<p>

"I don't know," She sighed and shrugged her shoulders. "I don't really care as long as we're not living here. Maybe we could downsize?" She suggested. "Get a two bedroom instead of anything larger."

"I..." Hotch trailed off. He wanted to suggest otherwise. He wanted to suggest getting another home that would be large enough for a family bigger than three. But bringing that up would only bring up the topic of more children. More children he isn't entirely sure he wants to have. And he is almost positive that having more children is something Emily doesn't want to talk about. Why would she? She had a long and difficult labour only to give birth to a little angel... His thoughts paused as his eyes filled with tears... Who was so cruelly taken away from them. Why would she want to put herself through all of that emotional and physical hell, _just in case_. "I'll ask them to scout out some two bedroom places." He decided to say. He had only just begun to open her up a little to him, he didn't want to say something that would build those tough walls of hers right back up.

"We getting a new house again?" Jack asked as he wiped his mouth free of syrup. "We only just got this one."

"This place is a little far away from where I work," Hotch lied to his son, figuring that the best way to start the day would be to not mention how a six bedroom house – bought for the handful of children he and Emily planned to have together – is a little too big for just the three of them. Saying that would only spur Jack on to ask a bunch of other questions as to why they don't just add more members to their family. Questions Hotch could barely deal with, let alone Emily. "You didn't like this house anyway." Hotch reminded his son, a small smile playing on his lips at the memory.

* * *

><p>"<em>It has no pool," Jack moaned as he trudged through the large, empty house. "I don't wanna live here. I want a pool." He said firmly, literally putting his foot down. <em>

"_Sweetie, we can add a pool if that's what you really want." Emily said softly, patiently. One of them had to be patient with Jack when he got in moods like this. The small tantrums and fits Jack could be prone to always got on Hotch's nerves, despite his best efforts to not let them get to him. "I like this house. Baby likes it too. She's kicking like crazy." _

"_She does?" Jack asked with a smile forming on his face. He instantly moved his small hand to Emily's large and round belly, feeling his sister's kicks straight away. "I think she does like it!" Jack agreed gleefully. "You promise we can get a pool?" He asked her seriously once he'd removed his hand. A small Aaron Hotchner glare appearing on his face. _

"_Pinky promise." Emily grinned at him. "Might even get a swing-set and a trampoline. But only if your Daddy says we can." _

"_I'll think about." Hotch replied with an amused grin. "Why don't you come upstairs with me, Jack? I'll show you the room Emily and I think will be yours." He suggested as he held out his large hand for Jack's little one to take._

* * *

><p>"Not true." Jack shook his head. "I just wanted a pool."<p>

"Well, maybe we can get a place that already has a pool?" Hotch suggested to his son, running his hand through the boy's still baby soft hair. "You're almost eight, maybe this Summer we should teach you to swim without arm bands."

"ON HOLIDAYS?" Jack asked with a burst of enthusiasm. "I really wanna go on holidays. I wanna go to Disneyland."

Typical of his son, Jack had taken the conversation in a direction Hotch had not expected at all. Despite having almost eight years worth of time to get used to his son's unpredictable nature, Jack quite often left him speechless. "Uh... We'll see," Hotch said after a moment. "Why don't you go and get dressed? We're going to be late if we don't start getting ready soon."

"We'll see?" Emily asked, her eyebrows raising almost to her hairline. "Disneyland, Aaron?"

"Don't look at me like that, Em," Hotch frowned at her. "How was I supposed to know he would take a pool and swimming conversation in the direction of Disneyland?"

"I guess you couldn't have seen that coming..." Emily trailed off, wishing her quick temper and cattiness with Hotch would fade. She had already lost one child, she didn't want to lose another, and her best friend and husband. "Anyway, you'll make the call?"

"As soon as I get into the office," Hotch promised her.

"I really want to be out of here as soon as possible. I can't live here for much longer, Aaron."

"I know, sweetheart," Hotch replied softly, standing up and moving around to Emily's side of the table. "I'll find us a new home." He promised her, crouching down beside her. "Somewhere you'll love. Jack too." He said in no more than a whisper as he leaned in and brushed a quick kiss to her cheek. "I'll call you once I've spoken to the realtors." He said as he stood up and left the room, glancing back longingly at Emily before leaving to get dressed. A quick kiss to the cheek is the closest he had gotten to intimacy with her since Abi died. Every-time he tried to just hold her or hug her since then, she would flinch away. She didn't flinch this morning. Hotch could only hope that they really had made some sort of progress last night.

* * *

><p>Several hours later Hotch sent a short text to Emily to let her know that their move is now in progress. Their house has been put up for sale, and their realtor is now compiling a list of new homes for them to see. He also let her know that he would be home a little early from work, bringing dinner with him. When his phone vibrated in his pocket a few minutes later a small smile reached his lips at her reply. <em><span>That's great, I'll see you at dinner. I was thinking, maybe we could go to Disneyland this Summer. Surprise Jack for his birthday.<span>_ Baby steps. Getting their lives back together, getting their hearts patched up and back into sync, it would take time. Each small step forward they took is a baby step towards fixing their lives. He read over Emily's words one more time, whole-heartedly agreeing with them, before slipping his phone back into his pocket and getting back to work.


	3. Meeting Ms McKee

**A/N – Thank you everyone who's alerted and favorited this story! I know the content is quite sad, so I appreciate that people are reading! There will be a happy ending, eventually! Leave a review if you have the time! I always appreciate knowing your thoughts and ideas.**

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><p><strong>About a month later.<strong>

"Thank you both for coming in today," Ms. McKee said to Hotch and Emily.

"You… Weren't very clear, when you called, about what you needed to see us about," Hotch replied. "Has something happened?"

"Is this about Paul Kane?" Emily asked. It was the only thing she could really think of. Paul had been picking on Jack, or so Hotch had told her, a few months ago. Everything seemed to have been cleared up in that respect though.

"No, no. Nothing has happened," Ms. McKee insisted quickly. "I know that Jack has recently suffered a personal trauma at home." She said carefully to them, not wanting to cause either parent any more grief than already must be experiencing. "He's a very strong little boy, but his grades have started to slide. I know that it's only been two months, and I did expect that his concentration in class and at home will change too as he grieves, but the drops are starting to worry me. He's gone from being at the top of the class to near the bottom."

"Well he did just lose his sister," Emily snapped back, not able to mask or hold back the instant jolt of rage she felt. Recently, she had noticed that she'd progressed into the 'Anger' stage of grieving. Denial was long behind her, Anger taking front force. Bargaining had been and gone, it was the quickest stage she had experienced. From the moment they woke up to find Abi cold that faithful morning, to the day they had buried her, Emily had bargained and begged. She had pinched herself in effort to wake up from the nightmare she'd woken up in. But to no luck. Then denial had begun. She wasn't willing to admit that her beautiful little girl was gone. Depression and Anger were almost interlaced with each other, Emily experiencing both at the same time.

"When you say his grades are slipping, how bad are we talking?" Hotch asked calmly, blindly reaching for Emily's hand and taking it on first attempt.

"Jack hasn't been handing in homework, he hasn't been participating in class, and he just hasn't been putting much effort into learning," Ms. McKee explained. "Again, this is to be expected with what happened. He's mourning. I understand that his attitude to things have changed. But I think that maybe it's something we should address now, rather than letting it get too out of hand."

"That's a good idea," Hotch agreed, unwilling to let his impatience get the better of him. Ms. McKee is just trying to be helpful, she's not deliberately stating the obvious to get under his skin. "Do you have any suggestions?" Hotch asked her. "Jack has been reasonably… Happy… At home. He's upset about what has happened, but he hasn't been showing any warning signs that he's really suffering."

"Is he seeing a councilor or a therapist?" Ms. McKee asked them.

"He did see a grief councilor after he lost his mother," Hotch replied, knowing Emily was probably going to remain silent. She was withdrawing, _again_. "That went well and I think it really helped him through that loss. We did talk to Jack about seeing her again, but he said he didn't want to. He had seemed to be coping…"

"Maybe you could have a talk to him about it again?" Ms. McKee suggested. "I think he has a lot of feelings and thoughts bubbling up inside and he's refusing to let them out. He obviously wants to be strong, and not show that he's hurting. I think that keeping a better eye on his homework and class projects would be good too. If you have the time."

"Of course," Hotch nodded slowly. Admittedly, he hadn't been putting all that much focus on Jack's school work. The past few weeks he had been concentrating solely on trying to help Emily. Reminding, and sometimes forcing her to eat something, trying to get her to spend a little time outside the house, to socialize a little. He had been concentrating on keeping Emily alive, rather than paying much attention to Jack's homework. Trying to sell the house was taking a lot of his focus away too. They had a surprising amount of interest in the place so far, so the hope was to move out within the next month – as long as they found somewhere suitable to move to of course. "We'll pay more attention to what he's doing for school. And we'll have a talk with him about seeing somebody. Would you be able to keep us up to date with his progress?"

"I will," Ms. McKee nodded. "Thank you both, again, for coming in and seeing me."

* * *

><p>"What does she <em>really<em> expect, Aaron?" Emily asked him, frustration evident in her tone, the moment the car door had shut behind her. "Jack _just_ lost his sister. His sister, Aaron. Is he supposed to be fucking jumping for joy?"

"No, he isn't," Hotch replied patiently. "I think it was good of Ms. McKee to call us in. We haven't been paying much attention to Jack's school work. I'm happy that she is attentive enough to notice."

"She thinks we're bad parents," Emily snapped, her arms crossing over her chest. "She thinks what happened to Abi is our fault. She thinks we aren't looking after Jack."

"Em, sweetie, that's nonsense," Hotch said firmly as he turned to face her. "Nobody thinks that. Everybody knows that Abi died of SIDS. There is no blame to be put on us. What happened… It was just a heartbreaking misfortune. It wasn't anybody's fault. Ms. McKee knows that." He said softening up as tears trailed down Emily's pale skin. He took a moment to brush them aside with the flats of his thumbs. "She wasn't insinuating that this is our fault. Jack just needs to be pushed a little. That's all. Okay?"

"Okay," Emily muttered, pulling back from Hotch to wipe at her tears. "I know, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have snapped at her like that."

"I'm sure she understands," Hotch replied as he turned the key in the engine. "She didn't take it personally."

"I haven't… I haven't been a very good Mom to Jack recently," Emily said guiltily. "I promise I'll make more of an effort."

"Em, you've been just fine," Hotch said as sincerely as possible. No, Emily had not been the best or most attentive mother to Jack the past two months. But Hotch could not blame her for that. She suffered an unimaginable loss. Yes, he had lost his daughter, and Jack had lost his sister. But Abigail had developed and grown within Emily for just under ten months. A mother-child bond is something that could rival all other relationships. Emily had suffered the largest loss when Abigail died, so Hotch would never, ever fault her for not being completely there right now. He could see each day that Emily was trying a little harder to reconnect with her past life. Trying to be the fun and outgoing mother to Jack that she had been in the past. Trying to be loving and supportive to Jack when he needed her. Hotch could never fault her, because despite all the pain Emily is in, she was still trying. "I'm the one who needs to try a little harder. I've been putting my attention into selling the house. I need to take a little of that and give it to Jack."

"Between work and trying to sell the house, I don't know how you have any time," Emily said quietly. "I haven't been pulling my weight around the house, or with Jack. I promise that I'm going to start making a better effort. Jack… Jack doesn't deserve to suffer any more than he already has."

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><p>"<em>Do you think she likes me?" Jack asked his father, looking up to him before returning his attention to the small baby lying in his arms. <em>

"_I know that she loves you," Hotch replied softly, crouching down to Jack's level. "Look how happy she is in your arms." _

"_She doesn't look happy," Jack frowned a little as he studied the small, pink face of his newborn sister. "She isn't smiling."_

"_Babies don't smile straight away," Hotch chuckled softly. "She's not crying, is she? Abigail is very happy with you. She already thinks you're the best big brother in the world." _

"_When she's old enough, I'm going to show her how to play soccer," Jack said seriously, more than ready to take his big brother responsibilities very seriously. "I think she'll be good at soccer." He sad and then paused as his sister sneezed. "When can she come home?" _


	4. The Armchair and Math Homework

**A/N - It's been forever, I know. I'm sorry! Real life kicks my butt. This continues straight from the last chapter - which if you don't remember is Hotch's and Emily's meeting with Jack's teacher!**

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><p>"Hey Dad," Jack smiled at his father, jumping into his arms once Jessica had opened the front door.<p>

"Hey buddy," Hotch forced a smile as he scooped Jack into his arms and hugged him. "Were you good for your Aunty Jess?"

"He was a gentleman, as always," Jessica answered for Jack. "He was just playing out in the back yard, so maybe he should wash his hands?" She suggested to both Hotch and Jack. Really she just wanted a few minutes alone with Hotch.

"Good idea, buddy," Hotch replied as he put his son back down and watched him run down the hall to where the bathroom is. "Thanks for taking him, Jess."

"It's never a problem," Jessica shook her head. "You know I love having him. I actually miss minding him while you were working. How did the meeting go?"

"Ms. McKee is concerned about Jack's school-work," Hotch replied, lowering his voice just in-case Jack was near by. "His grades and homework are slipping. She said it's to be expected, giving what happened… She's basically just saying that we need to try and encourage him with his learning, and to keep a better eye on his homework. Nothing too serious, and certainly nothing I wasn't already aware of."

"How is Emily taking it?" Jessica asked, unconsciously looking over Hotch's shoulder to the black car parked at the end of her driveway.

"Not well," Hotch sighed as he scrubbed a hand down his tired face. "She was pretty angry at first. She thought that Ms. McKee was judging her as a bad parent, blaming her for what happened to…" He trailed off, tears beginning to sting his eyes. He blinked quickly and rolled his eyes upwards to try and stop the tears from falling. He would not break down. Not here, not in front of Jessica. "She's going to make more effort with Jack's homework. She's fine."

"Are you okay?" Jessica asked him concerned after looking behind her to make sure Jack wasn't nearby. "People seem to only be talking about how Emily and Jack are doing. How are you doing? How are you coping?" She asked worriedly. Jessica knew Hotch, knew him better than most, so she knew that he would put Emily and Jack's grieving above his own grieving.

Hotch took a few seconds to decide if he wanted to be truthful with her, or if he wanted to lie. Jessica, since Haley's death, has been somewhat of a pillar of strength for him, a confident. Remembering how helpful she was when Jack and he lost Haley pushed him to tell her the truth. "I'm avoiding." He admitted. "I'm focusing on helping Emily and Jack through this so I don't have to think about it. I don't want to think about it. My daughter died. There was nothing I could do about it, there was no monster for me to stop. She just… Died. I'm avoiding. Ready to go buddy?" Hotch asked with forced enthusiasm as Jack walked down the hallway towards him.

"Yup." Jack nodded his head. "What's for dinner?"

"Can't be sure until I see what's in the fridge, but possibly Mac and Cheese," Hotch said as he took Jack's bag. He knew that Mac and Cheese would be something Jack would want to eat. He might even be able to convince Emily to eat a little too. She used to get so excited by his Mac and Cheese. "What do you say to your Aunty Jess?"

"Thank you," Jack grinned at her, accepting the hug she was offering. "See-ya, love you." He called over his shoulder as he was halfway down the drive way.

"Take care of yourself, Aaron," Jessica said as she followed Hotch onto the porch. "You have my number if you need to talk."

"I know, Jess," Hotch smiled weakly. "Thanks."

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><p>"Number four is wrong," Emily said to Jack as she passed him back his maths copy. "Needs another look I think."<p>

"I'm bored of Math," Jack groaned as he took the copy from her and threw it onto the table in front of him. "I don't want to do stupid math anymore."

"We don't say stupid," Hotch warned as he took the copy and had a look at the work too. "Mom's right, number four is wrong. You need to correct it. Can I take a look at your English homework?" He asked as he slid the copy back over to Jack.

"Fine," Jack pouted, which had no effect on the outcome.

"How long did it take you to do this?" Hotch asked after reading over the short story Jack had written.

"Dunno," Jack shrugged his shoulders.

"Not long, I'd guess," Hotch replied as he read through it one more time. "I'm going to circle all the wrong spellings, and you're going to correct them."

"But Dad," Jack whined, glaring at his father. "I don't wanna do it again. I wanna watch TV."

"Just be glad I'm not making you write it all out again," Hotch warned him. "Your hand writing is very sloppy. It used to be a lot neater than this."

"How about you finish your Math, then we'll watch half an hour of TV, and then we'll come back and correct your English?" Emily suggested softly. Hotch was going too hard on Jack, in her opinion. Yes, they needed to get back into the routine of checking his homework and helping him with it, but they didn't need to make the whole experience unpleasant. Sometimes she felt like Hotch enforced the same attitude he had at work during times spent with Jack. She didn't like that. She liked it when Hotch would be the soft and playful version of himself, rather than the strict and demanding one. Although, she would admit that sometimes he needed to be the bad guy. More often than not, Jack's little pout and his puppy-dog eyes would sway her into giving him whatever he wanted. Hotch, on the other hand, was immune to it. Mostly.

"Jack would be staying up past his bedtime if we did that, _Emily_," Hotch replied, trying his best to keep his frustration from his tone. _She is trying_, he kept repeating in his head. If he shoots her down while she's trying, she might stop altogether. He couldn't do that to her. He needed to encourage her as much as possible. He couldn't remember the last time she had suggested a family night in front of the couch. More often than not, he and Jack would spend the evenings alone while Emily would be upstairs 'sleeping'. Of course, he knew that she wasn't really sleeping. She would be silently pacing their bedroom, trying to stop herself from going into the nursery, trying to stop herself from looking at photos of their family as a foursome. Or she would be sitting in the armchair by the window, silently crying.

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><p><em>"Em, please!" Hotch chuckled softly as he tugged on Emily's left hand, his fingers brushing off her engagement ring and wedding ring. The latter had only been there for two months, and Hotch was still trying to get used to feeling it there. Feeling the physical evidence that Emily is his and his alone. "You're due in two weeks, your blood pressure is elevated, the doctor said you're supposed to stay in bed. Don't make me take out my frowny face!" Hotch said, laughing heartily at his own words. It was just yesterday when he had heard Jack mention that his frowny face wasn't as frown ridden anymore. <em>

_"I'm sick of being in bed," Emily pouted at him. "I spend all day and all night in bed. Anyway, you know I like looking out the window." She told him, not letting her gaze shift from the beautiful sun set currently in process. _

_Hotch let out a quiet sigh, knowing his wife wouldn't back down. Once her mind was set on something she didn't let go. "What if I bring the armchair from my office up?" Hotch suggested after a few moments, delighted with his own brain wave. She loves that chair. Back before she had been bed-confined, she would spend most evenings relaxing in that chair just watching him do whatever paperwork he hadn't completed at work. _

_"That would be amazing," Emily turned and grinned at him, her arms immediately circling his neck. Her protruding belly making a hug a little tricky. She moved over to their bed, waiting patiently for Hotch to return with the armchair. She enjoyed watching his muscles contract and flex as he carried the heavy piece of furniture into the room. His skin had a slight sheen of sweat, something which would normally turn Emily on, but at 38 weeks pregnant she was simply too tired to care. "You know, it's very likely we conceived her in this chair." Emily said happily as she sat into the comfortable old armchair. She smiled against Hotch's kiss, returning her gaze to the sunset when he moved to the bathroom to shower. 'Life couldn't get much better than this' she thought as she felt the baby move within her._

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><p>"But, what's half an hour?" He gave in after a few moments. Realistically, half an hour wouldn't disrupt the routine he had been trying to implement too much.<p>

"Yay!" Jack smiled as he quickly began to work on his math again. He liked having both of his parents in the one room together again. He liked having them fuss over him and pay attention to him, even if it meant he had to do school work. It felt like things were back to normal. Mommy and Daddy were helping him with his homework, they were all happy even though they hate Math. Even at Jack's young age, he could tell things weren't the same though.

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><p><strong>AN2 - Thank you again to everyone who's reading! This will have a happy ending. A bittersweet one, at least! I can't have Hotch and Emily on the outs! Please leave a review letting me know what you think! I know I suck at updating frequently, but reviews are a real encouragement to write more! **


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